Being the Lesser of Two Evils

The fat and short man had messy hair. It was obvious that hadn’t shaved for days. His teeth turned yellow. In short, self-care was a thing left in the past. With a hopeless tone in his voice, to the physician “Set me free of this trouble, and I will give you everything I have.”, he said. He put the key of his car on the physician’s table. That was the first thing he offered.

The complaints suffered by the man, who was in his forties, could be summarized as lack of sleep, occasional palpitation attacks, almost always being covered in sweat, and shaking. He always feared that something would happen to his children, to his wife or to himself. At a quick glance, the scene could be summed up as generalized anxiety disorder, and occasional panics. As a matter of fact, it occurred very frequently. Its treatment could be planned easily by almost any physician.

Nevertheless, there wasn’t any drug or dose the man was not prescribed with. All in vain. His complains did not even regress for a bit. There wasn’t any physician he didn’t visit or meet in the city of Istanbul.

Years passed by, and now it was time to visit the physician mentioned in the literature.

He frequently changed physicians. Despite what was recommended, he could not stop adding his own interpretation; he added or excluded drugs or played with the doses. Of course, he could not get a result.

“Do you know,” he said, “these doctors cannot be trusted at all. They all lust for money and they are selfish. They never think about their patients. They immediately write a prescription once they see a patient. They don’t even care to look at the patient’s face.”, he continued. It was his third session. And the person he was talking to was a physician!

“So why did you come to me?”, the physician asked.

“I wanted to give you a try as well. Not that I’m hopeful as a matter of fact!”, the man answered. It was quite annoying. But it was thoroughly sincere. The physician felt this sincerity and wanted to make a final effort to catch a zone to lend a helping hand to the patient.

The man was a mechanical engineer. He had a decent education. He was saying that he had a private factory. According to what he said, he produced some car parts. The doctor asked what parts he produced. He gave an evasive reply to that question. The physician become more curious. After a brief puss in the corner, it was finally understood that the man was producing brake mechanisms for cars. The production was completely illegal, uncontrolled and outsourced. The physician was terrified. Just as he was thinking about how easy it is to play with human life, the patient, during the next session, pulled out a package from his pocket and gave it to the physician. He was pretty sure that it would make the physician happy. “I have brought a present, one of the goods we produce.”, he said. Just as the doctor was saying that he could not accept it as he didn’t consider it safe and that he did not approve the production at all, the patient broke in on his speech, saying “Oh, I guess you started teaching morals now, let alone being a doctor!” The physician could not know what to say, it was one of the rarest moments in his life. While he was thinking about whether he should inform the police, the man, as if he heard what the physician was thinking, said “Don’t you ever think about them.”. “The people in the police station all know about me and trust me. Besides, we are sure of our products and we haven’t received a single complaint to this date…”, he continued. The physician was in silence. The man looked scared. It was obvious from the slight increase in his tone. But it wasn’t getting threatening.

During the next session, it was going to be realized that the patient, in fact, feared police day and night and that he wasn’t pleased with the work he was doing at all. He was afraid. He was extremely afraid. What would he do if something happened to somebody? Somewhere deep, he rigorously fell into the clutches of his own conscience. However, on the other hand, the money was sweet!

As a matter of fact, long story short, he abundantly bore all the titles he gave to the physicians. Conscience, lust for money, clumsiness, etc.

The patient reflected his spiritual world just like a mirror to the physicians.

After quite elaborate inquiries, it was understood that his father was an authoritarian who constantly told him, “ You are a lost case!”. He had many misbehaviors, but to be in his father’s good graces thoroughly became his main purpose.

He couldn’t be the best of the best, but now he was succeeding in being the lesser of two evils.

Offering the patient quite a low chance of success, the physician continued the case. “The chance of success with you seems to be lower than you expect”, he said.

This frank attitude was persistently repeated in every manipulative act of the patient. Many boundless attitudes like the desire of meeting outside were tolerated but were never given credit to.

After long and exhausting months, the patient started dieting and working out. In a short period of time, he lost a considerable amount of weight and made efforts to pay maximum attention to his daily care.

Now, it appeared as if he tried to win the physician’s favor. This time, he would aim to be best of the best.

His emotional ups and downs and panics were going to be substantially brought under control.

The physician was going to respect his patient. He was going to love him. Because the man would completely leave the contract manufacturing and switch to the legitimate car body manufacturing.

The conscience was clear, and a good night was well-deserved.

The doctor would think about if his patient was conscienceless or had an extremely cold conscience.

Although it was nearly thirty years since then, he would never know whether he should have informed that case to the police in time… He would never make a decision…

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