To quell

To quell… oppress, suppress… Even the most rebellious creature lives in fact by giving in to millions of natural rules… What I would like to talk about are not natural rules. Have a look at sociological rules too! How they are enmeshed in our lives.

From school exams to customary codes of good manner and juridical laws, there are an untold number of rules which we obey, have to obey … But I do not want to talk about those either. I want to address dual relationships in humans… I will talk about one person quelling another, oppressing that person… Imagine a male child. Let him be the oldest child in the family. Let us call him Ali. He has a sister six or seven years younger than him… and her name is Fatma. Let us assume that their father has a dominant personality who wants to get his way in everything. Ali, as an extension of his father and the society he lives in, wants to exert dominance over Fatma. Just like his father he is ordering her to do everything he wants. Fatma is resisting and complains about this to his father, upon which the father resorts to violence against Ali. And what does Ali do? At the first opportunity he of course gives Fatma hell. The father’s argument is this: “I set the rules in this house! The only authority you possess is that of reporting your complaint to me!” Ali has no intention of complaining and looking small in the eyes of Fatma. The dosage of violence that the father applies to Ali and Ali applies to Fatma increases with every day. Higher values like love and respect between them come to an end … This domestic violence continues until one day Ali hits Fatma with a hard object and she passes out. The possibility of Fatma dying horrifies Ali… And he puts an end to his violence. The self-confidence that came through exercising a power that could in fact kill Fatma played an important role in arriving at this end point. This means that the reason why someone tries to quell another person is to exercise his own power. This is more frequently encountered amongst people with low self-confidence… You know the saying, a master wrestler does not enter into a fight out of fears that his opponent might die. The way I understand it is this: only and only when rules are those of the Creator everyone quells unconditionally… The movements against social rules we call history. However, submission to the rules applied by one individual onto another does not seem to find itself a place in human nature. With regard to this story, what else can we do other than raise our hats to Fatma’s dignified stand and to call Ali a victim of fate. Is it possible without resorting to violence, when both the father and society say you should… Sometimes you see people who quell. You are amazed. You witness what kind of a relationship there is between the oppressor and the oppressed. The one at the bottom says: “crush me with your power! And through my requests which you will be unable to meet I will make you feel the size of your power or rather its inadequacy at every moment of your life.