Prof. Dr. Kemal Arıkan


Secrets… It is a complicated subject. It is difficult to keep secrets, and just as dangerous to disclose them. Would I be wrong if I said “Secrets are your weakest point”? Have you ever committed a crime?.. It becomes a secret…

Is there a side of you which you don’t like? You keep it secret… Military secrets, scientific secrets, diplomatic secrets, the list goes on and on. A secret is also the strongest bond between people and at the same time the most sensitive point. It is the strongest bond because you cannot get the person who knows your secret, out of your mind. You keep tormenting yourself: “What if he tells?” There may even come a moment when you want to get rid of that person… There you are; a secret as the motive of a murder… This means that the fewer secrets you have the safer you are. On the other hand you will find that the greater your feeling of self-importance and self-love, particularly if it is approaching narcissistic levels, the more secrets you’ll have. … But as we know, there is a moment when secrets cannot be kept hidden. Elderly people are closer to that moment. This means that as we get older there is a drop in the number of secrets and the keeping of secrets. The opposite is also valid – the younger the person the more secrets he has. For example, to witness my mother in a whispering manner sharing my secrets with her friends and relatives when they came to visit, was no different to being stripped naked in the middle of Taksim square and being left there. Since she did not do this out of a lack of love, I don’t know why she did it; I think she was probably using it as a means to form closer bonds with people. Or maybe my aged mother did not regard what she knew as a secret… so much so, that they were public issues to her… They could only be important to a naive youth. This shows that neither of us was in any condition to understand the other… I have told you this story having sought refuge in my mother’s forgiveness, so that it may be of assistance someone… Anyhow, secrets are usually things that our conscience or society does not approve of. This creates such a great pressure, it drives the person to disclose the most serious secrets and of course to confess to crimes. You witness how with a loud cry that person is relieved of that pressure; It makes one say: Long live justice!.. That moral relief is perhaps due to escaping the burden of that great secret… Generally you share your secret with someone you feel close to… But then there is the issue of a desire to get rid of that person… And this is the point that makes secrets a complex matter… Sometimes you are amazed by the stories you hear; you see that secrets have directed entire lives. The subject of “secrets” is as important as it is complex. I wish you all a safe world in which you have fewer secrets and in which you know whom to share them with…

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