Midnight, twilight, silence, loneliness, a white wall shining with the moonlight, barking sounds coming from far away, an empty land, and a broad square… It is neither hot nor cold. Sounds of leaves cracking softly from time to time.
A heart beating to get out, a blurred vision, cold hands, knees are getting weak. An uneasy warmth in legs.
The only thing that you can think of is to get away from there, from time, but without any place to go to, being sentenced to time.
You are a nine-year-old, orphan girl. You’re in the street, with holes in your shoes, biting your cracked lips.
Fear is the only thing you feel… A horrific fear.
Or you are at sea, a relentless current starts dragging you away, just as you are thinking about the future, while swimming joyously. You are having a knife-like cramp in your foot. The fear of the death is pressing onto your chest. You cannot breathe.
Or you’re climbing a mountain, you’re young and strong, but the power of the slope beats you, you’re stuck right in the middle of a steep rock. You lost your courage to go forward, back, up or down.
Or maybe you’re in a test, a matter of life and death. You’re struggling in panic, but fail to find the answers.
Don’t you ever perceive a sudden voice, a strange image? What a great sense of strangeness it is… that results in irritation.
As a shortcut, think about the horror movies or your nightmares. How hard you wish to come back to real life, for that to come to an end. Now put yourselves in the place of the characters over there. Think about being forced to live the same thing over and over again at every session!
A place to take refuge at… Please, a strength to hold on to!
A harbor, a place…. Like a mother’s heart for instance, or your father’s home… But they are not there at the moment… They are always in our minds, yet they are too far way.
This time, I’m writing because of this reason. For instance, a great majority of my patients are in a deep sorrow because they are not understood. I want to make everyone feel their states of mind a little bit.
Then, I intend to touch psychotherapy. But let me say in advance, it is not my intention to push or impose anything on anybody.
The options are clear in those hard times. You either fight, or run away, or keep your calmness and calculate. Just like the Papillon (Steve McQueen) in the movie Papillon… Or you just give in to the conditions, yet you find some things, an activity, a thought that will relax you. Just like Dustin Hoffman in that movie.
Eventually, you end up in a situation where you feel the presence and strength of some things at that moment. Think about the moment of earthquake. The time does not elapse, the earth gets full with an unbelievable energy. Death is so close. You feel how weak your own existence is.
In short, either your fears capture you, or you ignore them and go against them, or you fully exclude them.
What I meant by this exclusion is to deliver them back to their owners. For believers, it is to be at the point of saying “God, this idea belongs to you, this feeling belongs to you, and this image belongs to you as well… Even diseases belong to you. Eventually, I also belong to you… You do as you wish… I am nothing, I’m even smaller than a dust particle in time and at place… I take refuge in your power and mercy.” regarding all kinds of ideas, images and feelings that are subjects of fear.
You can take that as a therapy technique…. You can feel the what true relaxation is. Only then can you see that you’re a real Butterfly.
You don’t believe me? As far as I’m concerned, precious are the moments at which you simplify the complex world of nature. Who can deny the value of those excellent formulas?
But keep in mind that the equations of nature are endless; just like that expression, the universe does not come to an end even if that sea of trees fully turns into pencils.
If you still think that you are capable of coping with anything this way, I’d take my hat off to you. I have only one condition, just remember these arguments and similar others when you say “God, help me!” as it is frequently repeated in those moments of horror.
Jokes aside, we cannot be a Yunus Emre rising against history; but I feel like we can only be ourselves that rise against ourselves.
I wish all of us feel the deep silence of infinity with a fearless and peaceful soul.
I’d like to emphasize once again. The deep tranquility of infinity is really right with us once we accept that there is nothing that we own.
With that being said, it is a little hard to believe that in a world where we break records in terms of exploiting religions, but you should give it a try anyway.