Prof. Dr. Kemal Arıkan
Psikiyatrist

Two Teardrops

He was four when his father committed suicide. It didn’t take a long time for his mother to leave him. During those days, his dear poor grandfather looked after him. However, the white-bearded grandfather couldn’t take financial difficulties for a long time; he had to send his dear grandson to his son who was living in Istanbul. To the uncle of the 5-year-old boy…

While the bighearted grandfather seeing him off at the bus terminal, he said “I send you far away, but know that my heart is coming with you!” This memory would never be wiped away from his mind. His tears would flow deep inside whenever he remembers it.

His uncle was a relentless man. He committed violence even to the extent where he steps on the child’s head, and he brutally beat him up every day.

Therefore, he frequently ran away from home. The severity of the beating he took when he came back home became more and more unbearable at each turn. The house was really close to the industrial zone. He used to go there every day and watch the mechanics. There was one workshop that was unlike the others. It was spotlessly clean. He went there so frequently that the owner of the workshop thought he was the son of the other mechanics there. One day, curiosity got the better of the man. He asks his colleagues working around. No body laid claims to the six-year-old boy.

“Son, who are you?” he said. He grabbed the kid by the arm. The kid described the location of his house with fearful eyes. The mechanic was a Christian, Yugoslav immigrant. He asked questions to the kid for a long time, he listened to the story and understood it. He went to see his uncle. He told the uncle that he could take care of the kid. With a great pleasure, the uncle agreed to give the kid to the mechanic. He even received money in return.

The mechanic had five more children. He fed him and helped him dress before them. He was an unexpected guest after all.

Over the years, he learned the repair work well.

When he was around fourteen-fifteen, he received a letter from his village, which said his grandfather was seriously ill. He was asked to come to the village to visit his grandfather. He felt that he carried a great excitement and longing after all those years. It wasn’t hard to ask for permission from his boss.

The two of them were overwhelmed by emotions the moment they first met after long years. They tightly hugged each other with teary eyes, crying their hearts out without talking for minutes. The grandfather told the kid that he newly learned what happened to him, and that he sent him to his uncle as he found him reliable, knowing that he was a praying man. He extremely regretted that and was sorry. The kid told about the immigrant master. The grandfather carefully listened to the story. He felt relieved. His grandson was in safe hands.

The grandfather recovered.

Years passed by. Now, he was leading the workshop and became a rich and well-known mechanic. He took his grandfather with him, got married and had children.

After years, his grandfather would pass away unexpectedly. He washed the body of the bighearted man. Unfortunately, a psychiatric disorder was triggered on that day. The build-up over years turned into severe bodily anxieties. With the death of the grandfather, it got out of control. The disorder was accompanied by severe panic attacks.

Many doctors failed to make a diagnosis for the disease that would last for years. This time, he grabbed the hand of the doctor listening to him with a great interest, and said “My grandfather’s hands, my master’s hands and my hands were callous, but our hearts were as clean and naive as your hands and heart.”

“What happened to the Yugoslav master?” wondered the doctor. “A respectable man, he’s doing great.” answered the man. “He travels frequently. He travels the world.”

The man, who as a first impression could be deemed a “psychopath” considering the fact that he ran away from home, committed acts hurting himself, and that he indulged in alcohol when he was young, etc, made the doctor think deeply.

At each point of this life story, there was an extraordinary protective power.

It was impossible not to feel it!

Knowing that somebody attempted to understand him and was aware of the fact that he had a precious life was already enough for the man.

On the other hand, the doctor couldn’t hold back two teardrops as he was trying to understand the hidden cause of the story.

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